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The dickbags bought 'em... (12.43)

Fifth grade. I needed money. There were these rich eighth-grade pricks from Harrison. God, I hated their stupid faces. I had an Islander jersey and a Koho hockey stick. I signed 'em Mike Bossy and Bryan Trottier, and the dickbags bought 'em.

What'd you get?

$300 cash, new sneakers, Atari.

When they found out, they went to town on me like Dave "The Hammer" Schultz. God, I got so angry at them, my parents for not having enough money, myself for getting caught. That rage grew in me. It worked like jet fuel for years.

Michael Dean Bossy or, according to some sources, Michael Jean Bossy (born January 22, 1957) is a Canadian former ice hockey player who played for the New York Islanders for his entire career and was a crucial part of their four-year reign as Stanley Cup champions in the early 1980s. Among many other remarkable achievements, he was the only player in NHL history to score consecutive Stanley Cup winning goals (1982 and 1983) and the only player to record four game-winning goals in one series (1983 Conference Final). He is the NHL's all-time leader in average goals scored per regular season game, holds the NHL's third highest all-time average points scored per regular season game, and is one of only five players to score 50 goals in 50 games. In 2017 Bossy was named one of the '100 Greatest NHL Players' in history.

Bryan John Trottier (born July 17, 1956) is a Canadian former professional ice hockey centre who played 18 seasons in the National Hockey League (NHL) for the New York Islanders and Pittsburgh Penguins. He won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders, two with the Penguins and one as an assistant coach with the Colorado Avalanche. He holds the NHL record for points in a single period with six (four goals and two assists) in the second period against the Rangers on December 23, 1978.[citation needed] He is also one of only eight NHL players with multiple five-goal games. On August 4, 2014, Trottier was announced as an assistant coach for the Buffalo Sabres. In 2017 Trottier was named one of the '100 Greatest NHL Players' in history.

David William "The Hammer" Schultz (born October 14, 1949) is a Canadian businessman and former professional ice hockey coach and player. Schultz is renowned as one of hockey's greatest enforcers and holds the NHL record for most penalty minutes in a single season, at 472. Schultz was born in Waldheim, Saskatchewan, but grew up in Rosetown, Saskatchewan.