All the references, lovingly collated


Posts tagged Mike Wagner
Catherine The Great... (13.46)

Wags: You see an opportunity like that again, you grab it like it’s a horse cock and you’re Catherine The Great.


Catherine II, 2 May 1729 – 17 November 1796), also known as Catherine the Great, was Empress of Russia from 1762 until 1796, the country's longest-ruling female leader. She came to power following a coup d'état when her husband, Peter III, was overthrown. Under her reign, Russia was revitalised; it grew larger and stronger, and was recognised as one of the great powers of Europe...

Wags is alluding to the infamous apocryphal historical legend that Catherine the Great died attempting to engage in sexual intercourse with a horse. It is, of course, total nonsense, as the fact-checking website Snopes points out here


You're gonna be our Brian Doyle... (13.14)

Bobby: Get started with 200,000 shares of Rubinex.

Donnie: That's a big position. Are you sure?

Wags: We are not uncertain. 

Bobby: You're gonna be our Brian Doyle

Donnie: Who? 

Bobby: Brian Doyle. He was a utility player on the '78 Yankees. He's a lifetime .168 hitter. 

Wags: That's below the Mendoza

Bobby: But in the '78 World Series, Willie Randolph got hurt, Doyle stepped in, hit .438, played like an MVP. Legendary. You're gonna be Brian Doyle. 

Donnie: I'm gonna be Brian Doyle...


Brian Reed Doyle (born January 26, 1954 in Glasgow, Kentucky) is a former Major League Baseball infielder who played for the New York Yankeesand Oakland A's. He played primarily as a second baseman. Although a reserve for most of his career, Doyle starred in the 1978 World Series for the World Champion Yankees that beat the Los Angeles Dodgers. Doyle was drafted by the Texas Rangers in the 1972 amateur draft. Before playing a game for the Rangers he was traded to the Yankees along with Greg Pryor in exchange for Sandy Alomar. Doyle joined the Yankees in 1978. He played parts of three seasons for the Yankees as a reserve infielder through 1980. However, when Willie Randolph was injured for the 1978 World Series, Doyle filled in as the Yankee second baseman. In six World Series games, he batted .438 with seven hits in 16 at bats, one double, four runs scored and two runs batted ins, leading the World Series in batting average while helping the Yankees to their second straight World Series victory.

 The Mendoza Line is an expression in baseball in the United States, deriving from the name of shortstop Mario Mendoza, whose poor batting average is taken to define the threshold of incompetent hitting. The cutoff point is most often said to be .200 (although Mendoza's career average was .215) and, when a position player's batting average falls below that level, the player is said to be "below the Mendoza Line". This is often thought of as the offensive threshold below which a player's presence on a Major League Baseball team cannot be justified, regardless of his defensive abilities. The term is used in other contexts when one is so incompetent in one key skill that other skills cannot compensate for that deficiency.

Bonzai Artists... (11.50)

Wags: We're not buying, for now.

Dollar Bill: Not Carthill. Don't fuck me like that. It's a Hondo Havlicek. Can't miss.

Wags: It is bad timing, I know. But keep on liquidating.

Donny: We were up north of the timberline. Why are we bailing? 

We're not bailing. We're pruning, slowly, so we don't scare the market. And keep this on the fucking DL. We need to be deliberate and delicate about this. Bonsai artists.

John Joseph "Hondo" Havlicek (born April 8, 1940) is an American retired professional basketball player who competed for 16 seasons with the Boston Celtics, winning eight NBA championships, four of them coming in his first four seasons. In the National Basketball Association, only teammates Bill Russell and Sam Jones won more championships during their playing careers, and Havlicek is one of three NBA players with an unsurpassed 8–0 record in NBA Finals series outcomes. Havlicek is widely considered to be one of the greatest players in the history of the game and was inducted as a member of the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame in 1984. He was a three-sport athlete at Bridgeport High School in Bridgeport, Ohio.

Bonsai cultivation and care involves the long-term cultivation of small trees in containers, called bonsai in the Japanese tradition of this art form. Similar practices exist in other Japanese art forms and in other cultures, including saikei (Japanese), penjing (Chinese), and hòn non bộ (Vietnamese). Trees are difficult to cultivate in containers, which restrict root growth, nutrition uptake, and resources for transpiration (primarily soil moisture). In addition to the root constraints of containers, bonsai trunks, branches, and foliage are extensively shaped and manipulated to meet aesthetic goals. Specialized tools and techniques are used to protect the health and vigor of the subject tree. Over time, the artistic manipulation of small trees in containers has led to a number of cultivation and care approaches that successfully meet the practical and the artistic requirements of bonsai and similar traditions.

You know, Mr. Bernstein... (18.20)

Barry: How many times you seen it?

Bobby: This'll be my first.

Barry: Oh, my God. You're in for such a treat.

Wags: “You know, Mr. Bernstein, if I hadn't been very rich, I might've been a really great man.”

Bobby: Wags, man, what are you doing here?

Wags: Apologies for violating the restraining order and entering Xanadu, but I got a pile of documents for you to sign.

This is a Citizen Kane thing, of course. Wags may be mis-quoting here. Some sources suggest the line is actually “You know Mr. Thatcher…” I’m unsure.

Yo, bitches, saddle up... (40.08)

Wendy: I think it's time for one of your offsite team building exercises.

Wags: Yo, bitches, saddle up. Body sushi at the strip joint, on me.

Nyotaimori (女体盛り, "serve (foods) on the female body", often referred to as "body sushi", is the Japanese practice of serving sashimi or sushi from the naked body of a woman.The Japanese practice of nyotaimori – serving sushi on a naked body – is said to have its origins in the samurai period in Japan. In the words of chef Mike Keenan, "The naked sushi idea began during the samurai period in Japan. It was a subculture to the geishas. It would take place in a geisha house as a celebration after a victorious battle." Nyotaimori originated in Ishikawa Prefecture and continues to be practiced there.

A '61 Chateau Latour... (30.11)

Wags: Tonight's the night of your baptism at the church of Barclays. Lawrence Boyd has invited you to his box. Washed in the blood of the lamb, baby.

Bobby: How'd it go down?

Wags: Uh, maitre d' at a place I go had $1,000 on him to tell me when Boyd came in. Sent over a '61 Chateau Latour and picked up his dinner, courtesy of Bobby Axelrod.

Bobby: Well played.

Wags: I have my moments.

Château Latour is one of the greatest French wine estates, rated as a First Growth under the 1855 Bordeaux Classification. The 1961 is a legendary vintage. Drinking it in the late 1980s, Hugh Johnson noted: ‘Its bouquet was room-stopping; its flavours awe-inspiring.’ Read all about it here.

Then I’m gonna fuckin hobble ‘em... (23.12)

Bobby: What do you know?

Wags: They're gone for sure. Channing, Carly, and fucking Hlasa. They grabbed a few analysts, too. Security pulled this.

Bobby: They'll start their capital raise soon, if they haven't already.

Wags: Meetings are being set. I've gotten a few calls from folks poking around, see how pissed we'd be if they kicked in.

Bobby: I brought this on, Wags, 15 years ago. All of it. I might as well have spoken a fucking incantation.

Wags: If you feel that way, what do you want me to do?

Bobby: Keep listening. Find out what they're up to. Then I'm gonna fucking hobble them.

Wags: Like in Misery.

Misery is a 1987 psychological horror thriller novel by Stephen King. The novel was nominated for the World Fantasy Award for Best Novel in 1988 and was later made into a Hollywood film and an off-Broadway play of the same name. When King was writing Misery in 1985 he planned the book to be released under the pseudonym Richard Bachman but the identity of the pseudonym was discovered before the release of the book.

The novel focuses on Paul Sheldon, a writer famous for Victorian-era romance novels involving the character of Misery Chastain. One day he is rescued from a car crash by crazed fan Annie Wilkes, who transports him to her house and, once finding out what he has done to Misery in his latest book, forces him to write a new book modifying the story – no matter what it takes.

Read the plot summary of the book to find out what Bobby is referring to. It’s very Stephen King.

Like Agassi in his prime... (08.31)

Wags: You're smashing back every one of their questions, when they fucking ask them, Like Agassi in his prime. The dam is gonna break soon.

Bobby: I don't need the Coach K bullshit right now.

Wags: Well, what do you need?

Bobby: Not sure. Something…

Andre Kirk Agassi (born April 29, 1970) is an American retired professional tennis player and former world No. 1 who was one of the sport's most dominant players from the early 1990s to the mid-2000s.[4] Generally considered by critics and fellow players to be one of the greatest tennis players of all time, Agassi has been called the greatest service returner ever to play the game and was described by the BBC upon his retirement as "perhaps the biggest worldwide star in the sport's history”. As a result, he is credited for helping to revive the popularity of tennis during the 1990s.

In singles tennis, Agassi is an eight-time Grand Slam champion and a 1996 Olympic gold medalist, as well as being a runner-up in seven other Grand Slam tournaments. During the Open Era, Agassi was the first male player to win four Australian Open titles, a record that was later surpassed by Novak Djokovic when he won his fifth title in 2015, and then by Roger Federer in 2017. Agassi is one of five male singles players to achieve the Career Grand Slam in the Open Era and one of eight in history, the first of two to achieve the Career Golden Slam (Career Grand Slam and Olympic Gold Medal, the other being Rafael Nadal), and the only man to win the Career Golden Slam and the ATP Tour World Championships: a distinction dubbed as a "Career Super Slam" by Sports Illustrated.

Agassi was the first male player to win all four Grand Slam tournaments on three different surfaces (hard, clay and grass), and the last American male to win both the French Open (in 1999) and the Australian Open (in 2003). He also won 17 ATP Masters Series titles and was part of the winning Davis Cup teams in 1990, 1992 and 1995. Agassi reached the world No. 1 ranking for the first time in 1995 but was troubled by personal issues during the mid-to-late 1990s and sank to No. 141 in 1997, prompting many to believe that his career was over. Agassi returned to No. 1 in 1999 and enjoyed the most successful run of his career over the next four years. During his 20-plus year tour career, Agassi was known by the nickname "The Punisher”.

Michael William Krzyzewski (nicknamed "Coach K"; born February 13, 1947) is an American college basketball coach and former player. Since 1980, he has served as the head men's basketball coach at Duke University, where he has led the Blue Devils to five NCAA Championships, 12 Final Fours, 12 ACC regular season titles, and 14 ACC Tournament championships. Among men's college basketball coaches, only UCLA's John Wooden, with 10, has won more NCAA Championships. Krzyzewski was also the coach of the United States men's national basketball team, which he has led to three gold medals at the 2008 Summer Olympics, 2012 Summer Olympics, and 2016 Summer Olympics. He served as the head coach of the American team that won gold medals at the 2010 and the 2014 FIBA World Cup. He was also an assistant coach for the 1992 "Dream Team".

Krzyzewski was a point guard at Army from 1966 to 1969 under coach Bob Knight. From 1975 to 1980, he was the head basketball coach for his alma mater. He is a two-time inductee into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame, in 2001 for his individual coaching career and in 2010 as part of the collective induction of the "Dream Team".[4] He was inducted into the College Basketball Hall of Fame in 2006, and the United States Olympic Hall of Fame in 2009 (with the "Dream Team”).

On November 15, 2011, Krzyzewski led Duke to a 74–69 victory over Michigan State at Madison Square Garden to become the coach with the most wins in NCAA Division I men's basketball history. Krzyzewski's 903rd victory set a new record, breaking that held by his former coach, Bob Knight. On January 25, 2015, Duke defeated St. John's, 77–68, again at Madison Square Garden, as Krzyzewski became the first Division I men's basketball coach to reach 1,000 wins.

Whoa! Powerball winner... (33.00)

Bobby: I was planning to give you two million. It just went up to five.

Wendy: How do I know you mean it, that I won't walk down to my office and find it's one million and another four you're keeping invested here for me?

Bobby: I'll wire it to you now, to your own account. Wags, five sticks wired now to Wendy Rhoades' personal account.

Wags: Whoa! Powerball winner.

Powerball is an American lottery game offered by 44 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands. It is coordinated by the Multi-State Lottery Association (MUSL), a nonprofit organization formed by an agreement with US lotteries. Powerball's minimum advertised jackpot is $40 million (annuity); Powerball's annuity is paid in 30 graduated installments or winners may choose a lump sum payment instead. One lump sum payment will be less than the total of the 30 annual payments because of the time value of money.

Drawings for Powerball are held every Wednesday and Saturday evening at 10:59 p.m. Eastern Time. Since October 7, 2015, the game has used a 5/69 (white balls) + 1/26 (Powerballs) matrix from which winning numbers are chosen, resulting in odds of 1 in 292,201,338 of winning a jackpot per play. Each play costs $2, or $3 with the Power Play option. (Originally, Powerball plays cost $1; when PowerPlay began, such games were $2.) The official cutoff for ticket sales is 10:00 p.m. Eastern Time; some lotteries cut off sales earlier. The drawings are usually held at the Florida Lottery’s studio in Tallahassee.

On January 13, 2016, Powerball produced the largest lottery jackpot in history; the $1.586 billion jackpot was split by three tickets sold in Chino Hills, California,  in Munford, Tennessee, and in Melbourne Beach, Florida.

I don't want this to turn into The Who in Cincinnati... (8.10)

Mafee: It's time, Wags.

Wags: Almost.

Mafee: I don't want this to turn into The Who in Cincinnati.

Bobby: Lead them in.

The Who concert disaster occurred on December 3, 1979 when British rock band the Who performed at Riverfront Coliseum (now known as U.S. Bank Arena) in Cincinnati, Ohio, United States, and a stampede of concert-goers outside the coliseum's entry doors resulted in the deaths of eleven people.

I don't want to invest in it. I want to get on it... (32.11)

Wags: Do any of you have juice with Raya?

Ben Kim: I could build a model for it.

Wags: I don't want to invest in it. I want to get on it.

Dollar Bill: What is that?

High-end hookup app. Tinder for the rich and famous.

Wags: That's so reductive.

It's exclusive, and it's about connection.

Raya is a private, membership based community for people all over the world to connect and collaborate. It launched in March 2015 as an iOS application. Early on, many members used the application to meet other members romantically.The app describes itself as "A private network for people in creative industries” and in January 2017 the app launched a feature entitled "Work" that allowed members to collaborate on work related projects. The app asks members to apply and log in with their Instagram account causing many members to conjecture if admittance is determined by the applicant's Instagram influence and how many active Raya members follow them. However, many community members with small Instagram followings seem to contradict this theory and the admittance algorithm remains a mystery. It costs $8/month (in US dollars) to be a member of Raya.

One Traci Lords of an idea... (32.28)

Wags: I’m not gonna take any of this dog shit back to Axe. It's time for you folks to sharpen your pencils, and you better come back with one Traci Lords of an idea. And if you need that fucking defined, here it is. A barely legal, market-dominating, brilliant cocksucker of an idea.

Traci Elizabeth Lords (born Nora Louise Kuzma; May 7, 1968) is an American actress, singer, model, writer, producer, and director. During the mid 1980s, she was one of the most sought-after pornographic actresses in the adult entertainment industry. When law enforcement discovered that pornographers were distributing and selling images and films taken of her when she was a minor, it led to prosecutions and court cases that changed the pornography industry in the United States, in addition to bans on all but one of her adult films.

I'm logging you on to Raya... (41.15)

Stephanie Reed: Give me your phone. We need our I.T. staff back and your focus. I can't have you phishing the Internet pointlessly. I'm logging you on to Raya.

Wags: How?

Stephanie Reed: I'm a member, so I vouch.

Wags: You need two reccos.

Stephanie Reed: I got Michael Che to second you. Can't have you distracting our staff with this bullshit.

Wags: You're a member?

Stephanie Reed: So are you now. All I ask is Chatham House Rule on it. And when you see me on there, don't fucking tap the heart.

The Chatham House Rule is a system for holding debates and discussion panels on controversial issues, named after the headquarters of the UK Royal Institute of International Affairs, based in Chatham House, London, where the rule originated in June 1927.

At a meeting held under the Chatham House Rule, anyone who comes to the meeting is free to use information from the discussion, but is not allowed to reveal who made any comment. It is designed to increase openness of discussion.

It's in my purview… (29.45)

Stephanie Read: The Krakow play, your hostility toward him, what's really animating it? Is it coloring your strategy? Perhaps if you show restraint.

Wags: Restraint? Take a good look at the floor, because you don't know where the fuck you're standing right now.

Stephanie Read: It's in my purview…

Wags: You are here to keep the Visigoths outside of the city walls, not to impugn judgment of the Caesar.

Bobby: No, it's a smart question.

Between about 376 and 382 the Gothic War against the Eastern Roman Empire, and in particular the Battle of Adrianople, is commonly seen as a major turning point in the history of the Roman Empire, the first of a series of events over the next century that would see the collapse of the Western Roman Empire, although its ultimate importance to the Empire's eventual fall is still debated.

Guys like you and me, we're getting older... (35.56)

Gus: So when are you coming in for a session? You want to go now? 

Wags: I’m not under the same mandate as the other staff.

Gus: You sure? Lot of changes around here. More out there. It'll hit ya. Guys like you and me, we're getting older. We got to fight for every scrap of what used to be ours by right.

Wags: No.

Gus: Then let me buy you a steak.

Wags: Not necessary.

Gus: Omakase menu at Nakazowa.

Wags: You are good.

Omakase is a Japanese phrase that means "I'll leave it up to you" (from Japanese "to entrust".

The Japanese antonym for "omakase" is "okonomi," which means you are choosing what to order. The chef will generally present a series of plates, beginning with the lightest fare and proceeding to the heaviest dishes. The phrase is not exclusive to service of raw fish with rice, and can incorporate grilling, simmering, or other cooking techniques as well. In American English, the expression is used by patrons at sushi restaurants to leave the selection to the chef, as opposed to ordering à la carte.

Customers ordering omakase style expect the chef to be innovative and surprising in the selection of dishes, and the meal can be likened to an artistic performance by the chef. Ordering omakase can be a gamble, but the customer typically receives the highest-quality fish available at a lower cost than if it had been ordered à la carte. 

You don't put ginger on the fish... (43.48)

Wags: You don't put ginger on the fish. It's to clear the palate between pieces, not drown it out. And it is already precisely sauced. Doesn't need a soy bath.

Heathen: Chill out, Mr. Miyagi.

Wags: No. I won't, you fucking heathens.

Mr. Miyagi is a fictional karate master played by Japanese American actor Pat Morita in The Karate Kid (franchise). Mr. Miyagi mentors the characters Daniel LaRusso and Julie Pierce in the films. Morita earned an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor nomination for his performance in The Karate Kid.

Need a little swing oil?... (33.12)

Lara: Market's closed. What's so fascinating? 

Wags: She's almost here, the Raya girl.

Lara: Ah. Need a little swing oil?

Wags: You know I do. Give me a, uh, Michter's Celebration.

Bartender: It's $800 a glass.

Wags: One, please.

Lara: He means one bottle.

Raya is an exlusive, high-end dating app.

Michter’s bourbon seems to be very much the favoured tipple at Axe Capital. If it’s an eye wateringly expensive special edition, all the better.